Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Worst Movie Ever -- 2012

        Mentioning the very worst movie I have ever seen seems like an appropriate early summer/hot day/can't think for too long blog post.

         I saw it last night.  It's called 2012 and stars John Cusack, Danny Glover (as the American president) and Amanda Peet.  Directed by Roland Emmerich (Independence Day) on a $200 million budget, the picture apparently grossed $769,675,494 internationally.  Amazingly, I had never heard of it, which goes to show how consciousness of mass-entertainment products has changed.  I worked for Twentieth Century Fox at the time Independence Day was released in theaters (1996) and later on home video, and I recall awareness of that film permeating popular culture.

        The British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor, who was quite good in last summer's spy thriller Salt, and Oliver Platt, who is sometimes ok, but often (as in this movie) annoying and ridiculous, are also featured.

         The movie critic Peter Travers wrote: "Beware 2012, which works the dubious miracle of almost matching Transformers 2 for sheer, cynical, mind-numbing, time-wasting, money-draining, soul-sucking stupidity."

          I haven't seen Transformers 2, but I did see the 1979 film Players starring Ali McGraw and Dean Paul (aka Dino) Martin (directed by Anthony Harvey) and The Wiz featuring Diana Ross and Michael Jackson (directed by Sidney Lumet), two movies that are often included on "all-time worst" lists.

          Players is terrible, but quite enjoyable nonetheless.  Dino Martin wasn't a good actor, but was very handsome and appealing, and Ali McGraw, all the tennis footage, and Maxmillian Schell each justify themselves.  I recall seeing it at a studio screening with Caroline and wasn't tempted once to exit early, which would have been a terrible breach of screening etiquette.

          NOTHING, however, could have kept us at The Wiz.  Watching that film was what I imagine having surgery without anesthetic would feel like. We had to leave, protocol offense or no.  It was like trying to sit through a Lou Reed concert.

         Borrowing from the 2012 poster art -- You Were Warned.

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