Jane suggested this as a title when I told her I was planning to blog about Thor: The Dark World, which we saw yesterday evening at the historic and grand Lafayette Theater in Suffern. Anyone who has watched the movie will understand its meaning.
Thor: The Dark World is definitely the worst movie ever made. It is (or seems) interminably long, is utterly incoherent, and immensely dull.
There is absolutely no “chemistry” between its ostensible leads, Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman, who just might merit an all-time worst performance in a movie award on her own. Local (i.e., Bryn Mawr) girl Kat Dennings competes ably for that purse in the role of Darcy Lewis, but ultimately she’s too minor an annoyance in a veritable annoyance minefield. Dennings acts exclusively with her glasses, but not with the moving eloquence of the great Claude Rains' bandage and specs turn in The Invisible Man.
Thor: The Dark World reintroduces splitting headaches as a defining characteristic of the 3-D process, surprising in view of the film’s visual and dramatic Sahara-flatness. Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Alice Krige and Chris O’Dowd, talented actors, are all wasted and left to rot on the Asgard front.
The movie’s narrative is impossible to recite or even describe clearly and consistently. Even Wikipedia can’t do it. In that respect, it’s kind of like an early Jewel vocal performance, improvised by necessity, aleatory, punctuated by fake explosions.
Tom Hiddleston as Loki is great, as always.