Jane suggested this as a title when I told her I was planning to
blog about Thor: The Dark World, which we saw yesterday evening at the historic and grand Lafayette Theater in
Suffern. Anyone who has watched the movie
will understand its meaning.
Thor: The Dark World is
definitely the worst
movie ever made. It is (or seems)
interminably long, is utterly incoherent, and immensely dull.
There is
absolutely no
“chemistry” between its ostensible leads, Chris Hemsworth and Natalie
Portman, who just might merit an all-time worst performance in a movie award on
her own. Local (i.e., Bryn Mawr) girl Kat Dennings competes ably for that purse in the role of Darcy Lewis, but ultimately she’s too minor an annoyance in a veritable annoyance
minefield. Dennings acts exclusively
with her glasses, but not with the moving eloquence of the great Claude Rains' bandage
and specs turn in The Invisible Man.
Thor: The Dark World reintroduces
splitting headaches as a
defining characteristic of the 3-D process, surprising in view of the film’s visual and dramatic
Sahara-flatness. Anthony Hopkins, Rene
Russo, Alice Krige and Chris O’Dowd, talented actors, are all wasted and left to rot on the Asgard front.
The
movie’s narrative is impossible
to recite or even describe clearly and consistently. Even Wikipedia can’t
do it. In that respect, it’s kind of like an early Jewel vocal
performance, improvised by necessity, aleatory, punctuated by fake explosions.
Tom
Hiddleston as Loki is great,
as always.
