For almost as long as I can still remember, I have been the "nervous type." I work hard and constantly busy myself in other ways in order to calm down and smooth out my involvement in the world. My extreme nervousness was probably triggered by my brother's sudden death by misadventure in a boating accident in 1970 when he was 13 and I was 17. After that things, which were already dicey, took a turn for the uncertain worse and I found myself clawing for any possible handhold on stability and sequence. Outside of my family, I don't think anyone really noticed my inner gyro failure and flailings (that's how life is once you hit 17), and inside my family there were only other nervous types and predators who preferred things to be that way. I was extremely lucky that by that time I lived away from home for most of the year.