Or Fish

OCEANSIDE, Calif. -- (AP) — For the second time in less than a week, a 'sea serpent' attracted gawkers on a Southern California beach.


This time the rare, snakelike oarfish washed up Friday afternoon in Oceanside.


U-T San Diego reported (http://bit.ly/19Zy2JS ) that it measured nearly 14 feet long and attracted a crowd of up to 75 people.


Oceanside police contacted SeaWorld San Diego, The Scripps Research Institute and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Someone from NOAA retrieved the carcass, which was cut into sections for later study.

While it's unusual to find the deep-water fish near shore, on Sunday a snorkeler off Catalina Island found an 18-foot-long oarfish and dragged it onto the beach with the help of a dozen other people.


According to the Catalina Island Marine Institute, oarfish can grow to more than 50 feet, making them the longest bony fish in the world.


They are likely responsible for sea serpent legends throughout history.

Alexander Spence: Little Hands (from Oar) (Link)

Paul Revere and the Raiders: Him Or Me? (Link)


Note:  I am choosing to believe that both of the oarfish referred to in this story died of natural causes, and that the “carcasses” so rudely described by the AP reporter should instead have been more politely and accurately described as the earthly remains of two blessèd creatures and souls gathered by and returning to God after a life of virtue spent ignoring the New York Times, the Associated Press and the unnumbered multitude of craven ground-scratchers & low-ugly thinkers. 

The rest should be silence, obviously, but the “gawkers” and the AP would and will forever insist on insinuating and emanating their wraith-selves into the bardo of another.  Today, a “water-cooler” joke-news story made the rounds in the UK concerning a middle-aged female stroke victim felled while speaking in a Londoner’s accent and waking and recovering (thank heaven) sounding Welsh.  They dressed the story (written by a Sussex-based Argus “crime reporter” as semi-science, citing the so-called “foreign accent syndrome” sometimes (rarely) affecting stroke victims, but It was just mean.

Even if last week’s encounter with the winter skates doesn’t turn me into a vegan (yet), I will never eat a skate again.  And if anyone can promote a larger audience for Skip Spence’s subtle, utterly “there” beauties like Little Hand (from Oar)  or can try to ensure that Paul Revere and the Raiders’ great hits, of which Him Or Me? might be the most fully realized, finally receive the respect they deserve, please contact me at the email address found somewhere or other up above. 

Yours truly,

Johnny Dollar